Have you ever thought about what motivates you? What gets—and keeps—you going? When we know WHY we do something, we can use that information to accomplish more. Knowing what motivates us will help us achieve our goals, both personal and professional.
No matter what we do for a living, or where we do it, what motivates us can be found in the following list. Many of us believe that the only reason we work is money. Although there is no question that money, or what it buys (rent, food, etcetera) is a prime motivator, money alone does not create the sense of fulfillment and accomplishment that many of us are seeking.
LIMRA International, a research association, suggests you prioritize the following motivators for yourself. Once you've identified what works for you, share it with your boss. If you're the boss, ask your employees to prioritize their motivators. Whether you're the boss, the employee, or it's just you (a work-at-home mom or a solopreneur), this is important information for you to know.
INDEPENDENCE: The freedom to run your business activities as you wish; the opportunity to "be your own boss.”Do you ever feel restricted? Do you feel overcome by rules and red tape? Do you often feel in disagreement with superiors?
RECOGNITION: The tangible rewards you get for doing a job well, such as being singled out in a publication or speech. How important is winning to you? How do you feel when others receive recognition? Do you go out of your way to win awards?
ACHIEVEMENT: The feeling that you get from successfully accomplishing a job...overcoming obstacles and obtaining goals.Is your performance relative to your effort? How do you feel when you have completed a task? What kind of goals do you set for yourself?
LEISURE TIME: The amount of time that you have free to use as you wish and the extent of enjoyment that you get from this time.Do you find yourself neglecting things? Have you postponed a desired activity? Do you really enjoy your leisure me?
POWER: The sense of control that you feel you have over your destiny and the destiny of others...your feelings of influence to direct the behavior of others.Do you feel that you have control over your destiny? Do people tend to lean on you, ask your approval? Do you find yourself doing things you'd rather not do?
PRESTIGE: The respect accorded you by your peers and by business or community associates...how others feel you compare with your peers.Is prestige important to you? Do others tend to hold you in esteem? Do you find yourself performing to gain esteem?
MONEY: The amount of personal financial income provided by your job.Are you proud of what you earn? Do you tend to talk about money or how you spend, save, or invest it?
PRESSURE: The constant feeling or need to show continuing improvement in your job performance.Do you feel guilty about not exerting enough effort? Do you continually feel that you must do more? Do you want continual motivation from superiors?
SELF ESTEEM: Your feeling of self-worth...how you feel you measure up to your peers.Are you confident that you do as well as you can? Do you feel guilty about poor performance? Are you satisfied with your performance?
FAMILY LIFE: The amount and quality of family activities that you engage in.Do you spend enough time with your family? Is time meaningful when with them? Do they talk about the time that you spend with them?
SECURITY: The certainty that you feel of maintaining your position...the feeling that tomorrow will be at least as good as today.Is job security important to you? Are you afraid to try something new? Do you do things that tend to secure your job?
PERSONAL GROWTH: The feeling of growing as an individual or becoming more competent, more efficient—a better person.Do you think that you have grown over the past year? Do you do specific things that result in improvement? Do you have plans for doing more?
Now that you've prioritized this list, you have clear idea of what motivates you at work. It's not just money, is it?
Friday, February 27, 2009
Are You Living the Life You Want?
Tired of not getting what you want in one or more major areas in your life? Are you living a life that is not exactly as you planned? Have you given up on what you used to want?
You are entitled to a life that works! One full of passionate and satisfying experiences.
When is the last time someone asked you what you wanted? Maybe the waiter in a restaurant? Or the butcher at the supermarket? Who looks after your needs as you take care of your kids, your husband, your parents, your house, your boss, your laundry. . .?
Is anyone putting you first in their life? Probably not. Maybe not even you. This may be shocking, but you need to put yourself first. Yes, first. Even before the kids. Certainly before your husband. You need to take care of yourself and "fill your gas tank," or no one else will. If you are running on empty, you are not much help to others. So, that means taking time out to breath, to think, to relax, to plan. . . and to dream.
If you are ready to dream, let "up the ante," so to speak, to the next level. What do you really want? And, I don mean for dinner tonight. Nor, do I mean which color blouse to purchase or what movie to see on Friday night. I mean, "WHAT DO YOU WANT?!!" in life.
What I know about women, is that often there is no time or space left in life to consider the answer to this question. Never mind being able to spend quality time really pondering this question or planning how to pursue the revelations you come up with!
So, how do you envision significant, satisfying changes in your life and then make them happen? Follow me! Start by, just for a moment, freeing yourself from the attachments of family, relationship, responsibilities, pressures, and worry. . . let them go from your mind.
Find a relaxing place to sit. Close your eyes. Take a deep breath or two. Remember, you put your worries and responsibilities aside. Let the "realities" of life go. Forget about the places you need to be. Forget the things you need to do, the schedules, and the commitments. I challenge you to also put aside the restrictions to having what you want. I know there are many of them. Just let them go! Let yourself float away . . .from this life that is currently yours.
In your mind, float up above your body, out of the building you are in, and to a peaceful location. It might be nearby - somewhere you like to spend time. From this place, look down at your life. What would you have in your life if you could have anything? What do you love in your life? What would you keep no matter what? What don you love? What would you change? What would you let go of?
What would your house be like? How would you decorate it? Where would it be located? What else would you change about your house to feel nurtured, happy, and safe there? Take a moment to picture it. See the details. Let out the stops!
Now, look at your family. How would family life be? What does the time with your kids look like? What does the time away from your kids look like? How do you want your relationships with all family members to be? Sit for a moment with the visions.
What would your job look like? Do you have one? Are you a full-time mom? Do you work at home? Would you change careers? Spend a few minutes thinking about the details for your dream job. Go with them, no matter how crazy or unrealistic they might seem. If you could have a career doing what would make you happier than anything else, what would it be?
(Hint: What do you love to do that you feel you must do. What is it you do easily that others do not? Does the thought of being able to make a living from it bring up fears? GREAT! This is it! You have found your passion.
What about your marriage, relationship, or the relationship you wish you had? What would this look like? What would your significant other be like? How would he treat you? Feel how you want to feel with this person. Envision what you would do together and what you would share. Feel the passion and closeness between you.
Finally, let yourself think about any other important aspects of your life, such as your friendships, community service, travel, recreation, or your spiritual beliefs. How would these components be if they were as you desired? Leave your skeptic on the sidelines! (You can have her back in a few minutes!) Let yourself sneak a glance at your desires, dreams, passions, and secret fantasies. Look at the details. . . notice what you see. Any surprises? Take a deep breath and maybe congratulate yourself for being willing to look into this place.
If you came up with a satisfying vision, I invite you to write it down. You might even start an "I WANT" journal. In it, you can list all the details that came to mind. Then, add to it over time. I suggest you also write about the fears, judgements, and reactions you experienced. For example, "This is too selfish" or "I can have this, so why bother thinking about it!" are typical reactions. Just notice your thoughts and jot them down. Writing the objections clears the space to let the desires come to the surface so you can also write them down!
So, this is the first step in getting what you want - letting yourself see it. Find a way to make this practice part of your daily routine. Watch the changes start to happen!
The Secret to Positive Thinking
Positive thinking is something that eludes many because they simply don’t understand or believe that positive thinking can help them in any way. There really is no single big secret to positive thinking. The miracle of positive thinking truly lies within yourself. In this article, I’m going to give you the keys to positive thinking and show you why they work.
SECRET #1: NOBODY’S PERFECT When you can latch onto this simple little secret, you will be amazed at the change you’ll notice within yourself. You’ll no longer feel so angry all the time. You will start to give people the benefit of the doubt. Best of all, you will learn to forgive and not hold grudges.
SECRET #2: EVERYONE MAKES MISTAKES What’s the first thing that happens when you see someone make a mistake? Are you immediately judgmental? Do you think to yourself that they had it coming to them? Negative thoughts like these are detrimental, not only to the other person, but more so to you. Allow for mistakes, and refer back to Secret #1.
SECRET #3 BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE Just because you consider yourself to be a good person, that doesn’t exclude you from having anything bad happen to you. All too often, a negative and pessimistic attitude is brought on because of seemingly one bad thing happening after another. Life is filled with bad things and disappointments. It is up to you to choose how to react to them, though.
SECRET #4: YOUR MIND DETERMINES YOUR LIFE You really can determine how your life will turn out, based on your way of thinking. If you constantly look for bad things to happen, guess what? Bad things will most likely happen to you. But if you turn your thoughts to a more positive nature, and find the good in everything, you’ll soon become a happier person and live a much happier life.
SECRET #1: NOBODY’S PERFECT When you can latch onto this simple little secret, you will be amazed at the change you’ll notice within yourself. You’ll no longer feel so angry all the time. You will start to give people the benefit of the doubt. Best of all, you will learn to forgive and not hold grudges.
SECRET #2: EVERYONE MAKES MISTAKES What’s the first thing that happens when you see someone make a mistake? Are you immediately judgmental? Do you think to yourself that they had it coming to them? Negative thoughts like these are detrimental, not only to the other person, but more so to you. Allow for mistakes, and refer back to Secret #1.
SECRET #3 BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE Just because you consider yourself to be a good person, that doesn’t exclude you from having anything bad happen to you. All too often, a negative and pessimistic attitude is brought on because of seemingly one bad thing happening after another. Life is filled with bad things and disappointments. It is up to you to choose how to react to them, though.
SECRET #4: YOUR MIND DETERMINES YOUR LIFE You really can determine how your life will turn out, based on your way of thinking. If you constantly look for bad things to happen, guess what? Bad things will most likely happen to you. But if you turn your thoughts to a more positive nature, and find the good in everything, you’ll soon become a happier person and live a much happier life.
7 Signs He's not Interested
I think there are some sure signs that a guy is not “the one.” Now one or two of these things happening once or twice…don’t panic. However, if you see a consistent, frequent pattern of behavior, it’s time to let go.
- He doesn’t call, or calls infrequently. If he’s only calling you at the last minute, he’s telling you nothing better turned up, you were the last resort to avoid staying home alone.
- He doesn’t make plans. A guy who’s falling in love will think of you as a precious commodity. A guy who’s tolerating you won’t think you are special, and therefore won’t see you as an in demand and happening gal. When he calls at the last minute, he’s really saying “I didn’t think anyone else would have called you, you aren’t that special.”
- He doesn’t pay attention. Guys that like you will want to make sure you know that they are different from the crowd. They will pay attention to things you like, what you say and what’s important to you. They may not get every detail down, but they should at least remember to ask how your big presentation went, or if you are getting over that cold.
- He ignores your interests. First, with out common interests, a relationship is doomed. However, it should be a give and take. Are you only doing things he likes to do? Has he made any effort to do anything that would be more of your interest than his or a shared interest? If not, he’s really not trying to keep you around.
- Everything is on his schedule. What happened to the idea of give-and-take in a relationship? Are you changing your schedule to fit to his? If he’s making no effort, well, he’s not going to start suddenly.
- You haven’t met his friends. After a while, it makes sense that you start treading into each others social circles. In less you already hung out with the same crowd, you should meet some of his friends.
- He doesn’t respect you. Think of how you act around someone you respect. You value their opinion; tell them things that are important to you, look forward to their feedback. If he doesn’t treat you in a way that clearly shows he respects you, he probably doesn’t.
Don’t waste your time waiting for a man who’s not interested in you to come around or fall for you. Why do a hard sell just to wind up wasting time and resentful down the road. Ditch the guy who doesn’t like you, and find the one who does.
You won’t find Mr. Right while you are busy chasing down Mr. Wrong.
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