What Motivates You at Work?

Have you ever thought about what motivates you? What gets—and keeps—you going? When we know WHY we do something, we can use that information to accomplish more. Knowing what motivates us will help us achieve our goals, both personal and professional.



No matter what we do for a living, or where we do it, what motivates us can be found in the following list. Many of us believe that the only reason we work is money. Although there is no question that money, or what it buys (rent, food, etcetera) is a prime motivator, money alone does not create the sense of fulfillment and accomplishment that many of us are seeking.



LIMRA International, a research association, suggests you prioritize the following motivators for yourself. Once you've identified what works for you, share it with your boss. If you're the boss, ask your employees to prioritize their motivators. Whether you're the boss, the employee, or it's just you (a work-at-home mom or a solopreneur), this is important information for you to know.



INDEPENDENCE: The freedom to run your business activities as you wish; the opportunity to "be your own boss.”Do you ever feel restricted? Do you feel overcome by rules and red tape? Do you often feel in disagreement with superiors?


RECOGNITION: The tangible rewards you get for doing a job well, such as being singled out in a publication or speech. How important is winning to you? How do you feel when others receive recognition? Do you go out of your way to win awards?


ACHIEVEMENT: The feeling that you get from successfully accomplishing a job...overcoming obstacles and obtaining goals.Is your performance relative to your effort? How do you feel when you have completed a task? What kind of goals do you set for yourself?


LEISURE TIME: The amount of time that you have free to use as you wish and the extent of enjoyment that you get from this time.Do you find yourself neglecting things? Have you postponed a desired activity? Do you really enjoy your leisure me?


POWER: The sense of control that you feel you have over your destiny and the destiny of others...your feelings of influence to direct the behavior of others.Do you feel that you have control over your destiny? Do people tend to lean on you, ask your approval? Do you find yourself doing things you'd rather not do?


PRESTIGE: The respect accorded you by your peers and by business or community associates...how others feel you compare with your peers.Is prestige important to you? Do others tend to hold you in esteem? Do you find yourself performing to gain esteem?


MONEY: The amount of personal financial income provided by your job.Are you proud of what you earn? Do you tend to talk about money or how you spend, save, or invest it?


PRESSURE: The constant feeling or need to show continuing improvement in your job performance.Do you feel guilty about not exerting enough effort? Do you continually feel that you must do more? Do you want continual motivation from superiors?


SELF ESTEEM: Your feeling of self-worth...how you feel you measure up to your peers.Are you confident that you do as well as you can? Do you feel guilty about poor performance? Are you satisfied with your performance?


FAMILY LIFE: The amount and quality of family activities that you engage in.Do you spend enough time with your family? Is time meaningful when with them? Do they talk about the time that you spend with them?


SECURITY: The certainty that you feel of maintaining your position...the feeling that tomorrow will be at least as good as today.Is job security important to you? Are you afraid to try something new? Do you do things that tend to secure your job?


PERSONAL GROWTH: The feeling of growing as an individual or becoming more competent, more efficient—a better person.Do you think that you have grown over the past year? Do you do specific things that result in improvement? Do you have plans for doing more?
Now that you've prioritized this list, you have clear idea of what motivates you at work. It's not just money, is it?

Are You Living the Life You Want?

Tired of not getting what you want in one or more major areas in your life? Are you living a life that is not exactly as you planned? Have you given up on what you used to want?

You are entitled to a life that works! One full of passionate and satisfying experiences.

When is the last time someone asked you what you wanted? Maybe the waiter in a restaurant? Or the butcher at the supermarket? Who looks after your needs as you take care of your kids, your husband, your parents, your house, your boss, your laundry. . .?

Is anyone putting you first in their life? Probably not. Maybe not even you. This may be shocking, but you need to put yourself first. Yes, first. Even before the kids. Certainly before your husband. You need to take care of yourself and "fill your gas tank," or no one else will. If you are running on empty, you are not much help to others. So, that means taking time out to breath, to think, to relax, to plan. . . and to dream.

If you are ready to dream, let "up the ante," so to speak, to the next level. What do you really want? And, I don mean for dinner tonight. Nor, do I mean which color blouse to purchase or what movie to see on Friday night. I mean, "WHAT DO YOU WANT?!!" in life.

What I know about women, is that often there is no time or space left in life to consider the answer to this question. Never mind being able to spend quality time really pondering this question or planning how to pursue the revelations you come up with!

So, how do you envision significant, satisfying changes in your life and then make them happen? Follow me! Start by, just for a moment, freeing yourself from the attachments of family, relationship, responsibilities, pressures, and worry. . . let them go from your mind.

Find a relaxing place to sit. Close your eyes. Take a deep breath or two. Remember, you put your worries and responsibilities aside. Let the "realities" of life go. Forget about the places you need to be. Forget the things you need to do, the schedules, and the commitments. I challenge you to also put aside the restrictions to having what you want. I know there are many of them. Just let them go! Let yourself float away . . .from this life that is currently yours.

In your mind, float up above your body, out of the building you are in, and to a peaceful location. It might be nearby - somewhere you like to spend time. From this place, look down at your life. What would you have in your life if you could have anything? What do you love in your life? What would you keep no matter what? What don you love? What would you change? What would you let go of?

What would your house be like? How would you decorate it? Where would it be located? What else would you change about your house to feel nurtured, happy, and safe there? Take a moment to picture it. See the details. Let out the stops!

Now, look at your family. How would family life be? What does the time with your kids look like? What does the time away from your kids look like? How do you want your relationships with all family members to be? Sit for a moment with the visions.

What would your job look like? Do you have one? Are you a full-time mom? Do you work at home? Would you change careers? Spend a few minutes thinking about the details for your dream job. Go with them, no matter how crazy or unrealistic they might seem. If you could have a career doing what would make you happier than anything else, what would it be?

(Hint: What do you love to do that you feel you must do. What is it you do easily that others do not? Does the thought of being able to make a living from it bring up fears? GREAT! This is it! You have found your passion.

What about your marriage, relationship, or the relationship you wish you had? What would this look like? What would your significant other be like? How would he treat you? Feel how you want to feel with this person. Envision what you would do together and what you would share. Feel the passion and closeness between you.

Finally, let yourself think about any other important aspects of your life, such as your friendships, community service, travel, recreation, or your spiritual beliefs. How would these components be if they were as you desired? Leave your skeptic on the sidelines! (You can have her back in a few minutes!) Let yourself sneak a glance at your desires, dreams, passions, and secret fantasies. Look at the details. . . notice what you see. Any surprises? Take a deep breath and maybe congratulate yourself for being willing to look into this place.

If you came up with a satisfying vision, I invite you to write it down. You might even start an "I WANT" journal. In it, you can list all the details that came to mind. Then, add to it over time. I suggest you also write about the fears, judgements, and reactions you experienced. For example, "This is too selfish" or "I can have this, so why bother thinking about it!" are typical reactions. Just notice your thoughts and jot them down. Writing the objections clears the space to let the desires come to the surface so you can also write them down!

So, this is the first step in getting what you want - letting yourself see it. Find a way to make this practice part of your daily routine. Watch the changes start to happen!

The Secret to Positive Thinking

Positive thinking is something that eludes many because they simply don’t understand or believe that positive thinking can help them in any way. There really is no single big secret to positive thinking. The miracle of positive thinking truly lies within yourself. In this article, I’m going to give you the keys to positive thinking and show you why they work.

SECRET #1: NOBODY’S PERFECT When you can latch onto this simple little secret, you will be amazed at the change you’ll notice within yourself. You’ll no longer feel so angry all the time. You will start to give people the benefit of the doubt. Best of all, you will learn to forgive and not hold grudges.

SECRET #2: EVERYONE MAKES MISTAKES What’s the first thing that happens when you see someone make a mistake? Are you immediately judgmental? Do you think to yourself that they had it coming to them? Negative thoughts like these are detrimental, not only to the other person, but more so to you. Allow for mistakes, and refer back to Secret #1.

SECRET #3 BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE Just because you consider yourself to be a good person, that doesn’t exclude you from having anything bad happen to you. All too often, a negative and pessimistic attitude is brought on because of seemingly one bad thing happening after another. Life is filled with bad things and disappointments. It is up to you to choose how to react to them, though.

SECRET #4: YOUR MIND DETERMINES YOUR LIFE You really can determine how your life will turn out, based on your way of thinking. If you constantly look for bad things to happen, guess what? Bad things will most likely happen to you. But if you turn your thoughts to a more positive nature, and find the good in everything, you’ll soon become a happier person and live a much happier life.

7 Signs He's not Interested

I think there are some sure signs that a guy is not “the one.” Now one or two of these things happening once or twice…don’t panic. However, if you see a consistent, frequent pattern of behavior, it’s time to let go.

• He doesn’t call, or calls infrequently. If he’s only calling you at the last minute, he’s telling you nothing better turned up, you were the last resort to avoid staying home alone.
• He doesn’t make plans. A guy who’s falling in love will think of you as a precious commodity. A guy who’s tolerating you won’t think you are special, and therefore won’t see you as an in demand and happening gal. When he calls at the last minute, he’s really saying “I didn’t think anyone else would have called you, you aren’t that special.”
• He doesn’t pay attention. Guys that like you will want to make sure you know that they are different from the crowd. They will pay attention to things you like, what you say and what’s important to you. They may not get every detail down, but they should at least remember to ask how your big presentation went, or if you are getting over that cold.
• He ignores your interests. First, with out common interests, a relationship is doomed. However, it should be a give and take. Are you only doing things he likes to do? Has he made any effort to do anything that would be more of your interest than his or a shared interest? If not, he’s really not trying to keep you around.
• Everything is on his schedule. What happened to the idea of give-and-take in a relationship? Are you changing your schedule to fit to his? If he’s making no effort, well, he’s not going to start suddenly.
• You haven’t met his friends. After a while, it makes sense that you start treading into each others social circles. In less you already hung out with the same crowd, you should meet some of his friends.
• He doesn’t respect you. Think of how you act around someone you respect. You value their opinion; tell them things that are important to you, look forward to their feedback. If he doesn’t treat you in a way that clearly shows he respects you, he probably doesn’t.

Don’t waste your time waiting for a man who’s not interested in you to come around or fall for you. Why do a hard sell just to wind up wasting time and resentful down the road. Ditch the guy who doesn’t like you, and find the one who does.

You won’t find Mr. Right while you are busy chasing down Mr. Wrong.

THINGS A WOMAN WILL APPRECIATE FROM YOU

Walk with her,don't try to rule her

Offer your support, be a haven she can come to when she is in need, without fear of lectures or disinterest on your side

Don't ridicule her behind her back.I never understand men who do this.

Listen, listen ,when she is hurting. Resist the urge to offer advice unless she asks.

Give her compliments,make her feel good about herself, mean it.

Walk with her,not ahead of her.

Never take her for granted,don't let familiarity seep in.

Show your joy in spending time with her.A woman needs to feel appreciated.

Be honest with her. A woman never forgets.

Be her greatest supporter. Be someone she knows that she can always count on.

If you have done something to hurt her, even if you didn't mean to, tell her you are sorry

If anger gets the better of you walk away and take time to cool down,or you might say something you will regret and she will remember

You don't have to try to "fix" everything. Men are fixers, but women don't want you to fix everything.

Kiss her goodbye and be happy to see her

Understand her need to share herself with her friends. It's not that you aren't enough.

Show her she can count on you to get things done when you say you will

.Back her up "100" percent!

Don't ignore her to gain her attention.That just infuriates her

Include her in your dreams tell her about them. A woman feels part of you when you share your life even more with her.

If you treat her the way she deserves to be treated she in turn will give back to you 100 fold.A happy caring guy makes a happy caring woman.

Don't compare her to other women.She is unique.

100 Questions to Ask on a Date.

The first, second and even third dates can be awkward. Do you find yourself stuck in uncomfortable silences wondering what to say next? Once you find out a little bit of background about your date, where do you go next? What questions are too personal at this stage in the game? I've complied a list of 100 ice-breaking questions to ask on a date. Of course you don't want to try and cram in all 100 of these questions, or even 50 for that matter. Where the conversation goes is dependant on your date's specific background, career and lifestyle. So pick and choose carefully. You should only need to a few of these in your back pocket to really get a conversation going. Good luck!

1. What was your best job?

2. What were your worst jobs?

3. Tell me all the places you worked

4. Tell me about your best friend

5. Tell me about your family

6. Tell me about your relatives

7. What was your first car?

8. Favorite movie star?

9. Favorite entertainer?

10. Favorite song?

11. What were your life changing moments?

12. First girlfriend/boyfriend?

13. First kiss?

14. What is the dumbest thing you have ever done?

15. Have you ever been arrested?

16. Political affiliation?

17. Have you voted for someone you wished you hadn't?

18. Have you used drugs?

19. Do you like to shop?

20. Best way to relax?

21. Favorite thing to do alone?

22. Ever had a one night stand?

23. Do you save money?

24. What hobbies to you spend money on?

25. If you found a $100 what would you do?

26. Do you want children/more children?

27. Are you a good parent?

28. What makes a good parent?

29. Are you romantic?

30. Ever loose a pet?

31. Dog or cat?

32. Pets growing up?

33. Sleep in the nude?

34. Favorite midnight snack?

35. Do you exercise?

36. Did you ever see your parents making love?

37. Peanut butter and what?

38. What is one food you will never give up?

39. What is a food you can live without?

40. Favorite drink?

41. Perfect day?

42. How many cds do you own?

43. How many dvds to you own?

44. Favorite thing to spend money on?

45. What is the weirdest thing about you?

46. What is on your bedside table?

47. Are you cheap or thrifty?

48. Ever been in love with 2 people at the same time?

49. Grades in high school?

50. Favorite teacher and why?

51. Relatives in jail?

52. Toppings on pizza?

53. Black or white?

54. Glass half full or half empty?

55. Ever been to a food shelf?

56. Ever milked a cow?

57. Ever tipped a cow?

58. Bath or shower?

59. Mountains or the beach?

60. Plane, train or automobile?

61. Favorite all time movie?

62. Worse movie you have ever seen?

63. Best concert you have been to?

64. Beer, wine or coffee?

65. Best vacation?

66. If you could retire tomorrow what would you do?

67. Worse vacation?

68. Three places you would love to visit?

69. Worse boss?

70. If you could do anything what would it be?

71. Super powers you wish you had?

72. Ever had a massage?

73. Ideal romantic dinner?

74. Dumbest purchase you ever made?

75. Where did you find money when you were flat broke?

76. Ever sold blood?

77. What sporting event/concert/entertainment would you buy tickets to regardless of price?

78. Ever hit a jackpot on a slot machine?

79. Ever won the lottery?

80. What would you do with your lottery winnings?

81. Are you a neat freak?

82. Can't stand being around people who_________?

83. Crowds or small groups?

84. How old do you want to live to?

85. Loose your sight or hearing?

86. Ever had a crush on a member of the same sex?

87. Pet peeves?

88. Most annoying habit?

89. Sexiest parts of a member of the opposite sex?

90. Major turn offs?

91. Tattoos?

93. Piercings?

94. Plastic surgery--would you/have you?

95. Computer geek?

96. Trekee?

97. Play an instrument?

98. Been in a band?

99. Most embarrassing moment?

100. Nude beach yes or no?

12 Techniques to Help You Live a Happy and Fulfilled Life

1. Keep Life Simple:Far too many of us are always over analyzing and looking for the most complicated way of doing things in life. Sometimes life was meant to be simple – a walk through the park, a simple yes or no answer, or a quiet evening with the family. Don’t try and clutter your life with unnecessary decisions by making everything complicated and complex. Keep it simple!
2. Practice Being Satisfied:How many times have you heard someone say, “If only I had a few more dollars I’d…” or “If I just had another day off I could….”? Many people don’t know how to be satisfied with what life gives them. They are so busy wanting more that they squander what life has already given them.
3. Beware Of Indecision:Nobody said life is easy, and sometimes you have to make the tough choices. Never put off a decision that you can make today. You may miss some of the best and most exciting opportunities in the world because you were indecisive. Successful people didn’t get where they were at by prolonging or going back and forth on decisions!
4. Practice Cheerfulness:You’ve heard it before, and you’ll hear it here again – it only takes a few muscles to smile! You would be surprised at how well being cheerful to others can spread like wildfire. We live in a society where it seems that glumness is the rule of order. A simple smile or kind word can spread through our culture like wildfire – not only will you feel better, but those who interact with you will feel better!
5. Learn to Like People: You don’t have to love everyone you encounter, so learn to like people – especially those who are different than yourself. Often you won’t agree with everything they do, or maybe all of their beliefs, but by learning to get along with them you will open your mind up to change – a critical trait that is absolutely necessary in today’s world.
6. Live and Let Live:Is it really your concern what the guy across the street wants to do with his life or who he wants to share his life with? Learn to live your life to the fullest and let others live their life to the fullest. None of us is above anyone else, and none of us should think we should be allowed to dictate how another person should live their life.
7. Adversity Teaches:Adversity can be one of the most powerful teachers we will ever have in our lives. You will learn so much about life by overcoming adversity and learning how to face it head on. Adversity often comes dressed in many different outfits, but you will change your life by learning how to deal with it and prosper from it.
8. Don't Take Yourself So Seriously:Here is a secret: it’s ok to be a little goofy now and then! You only get one shot at this life, so make the most of it. Have some fun and show your children and those around you that you know how to have fun. You aren’t the greatest gift to mankind this world has ever had – so don’t act like it! You may find you add years to your life, not to mention a ton of laughter!
9. Have A Sense Of Humor:Laugh, joke, and now and then pick up a cream pie and throw it! Laughter has been shown to help people live longer, reduce their blood pressure, and help them relate to people from around the world.
10. Practice Objectivity:Be objective in your decision-making and risk-taking. Know the facts and avoid letting racial, social, or any other type of bias influence your decisions. Great leaders perform their best when they act based on facts, not on emotion or prejudices. Become a great leader in your life.
11. Tolerate Your Own Mistakes:You will make mistakes – in fact, you will make so many mistakes you will never be able to list them all. Learn that mistakes happen and the best thing you can do is to learn from them. Don’t spend your entire life dwelling on a mistake you made years ago – learn from it and move on. The world isn’t going to wait while you live in the past.
12. Forgive Yourself:Stop beating yourself up over things that happened in the past - things you did or didn’t do, and mistakes you may have made with others.
    
    Forgiving yourself is a skill so few of us have the ability to accomplish. It's such a shame that we spent a lifetime living in the past and never make it to our full potential in the future. Forgive yourself – and just as importantly, forgive others.

It may seem like a rather long list, but I encourage you to read it and then refer back to it every now and then. You’ll see each one ties into the others in some fashion and that these simple steps really do help you live a more meaningful, happy and fulfilled life.

Life happens. Be a part of it.

Live Life to the Fullest

Do not miss out on the really important things in life. This life is short, so consider how you can really LIVE it.

There are few things in life that are irreplaceable and no matter what you should never let anything else in life become secondary to it. I do not know if you will agree to this or not, but there certain things you should always remember when you prioritize:

Remember why you are working: Most people work so that they can provide comforts to their families or to themselves. But somewhere along the line, they get so busy in the work that they forget to enjoy. If you do not spend time with your family, no matter how hard you work, it is useless. Nothing can replace you. Money is essential, but it is essential for the things it gets. Money by itself is not important.

Value the “Days”: The Birthdays, the Valentine’s Day, Christmas, New Year, Independence Day etc are all important because they are there to remind us about something or someone. These events or persons are important to us. We might never express our sentiments otherwise or we might just not get enough time or we may never take a break. These special days are important, cherish them.

Don’t get lost: Have you spent time with yourself lately? Never get so busy with your routine that you cannot take a few moments off for yourself. Nobody else can value you more than you do. So, stay alone for a few minutes everyday.

A kid is a kid only once: Children grow up faster than you know it. Right now you might be pushing them away, you might not have enough energy to tell them a story. But a day will come when they will be all grown up and you would wish you could hold them on your lap, cuddle them and tell them a tale just to see their expressions change. But they would not be around you for that anymore.

Don’t take life too seriously: This is the most important thing to remember- as long as you are not causing harm to anyone and as long as it is not at the cost of your responsibility, there is no reason for you not to have a little fun. Enjoy while you can. Life is way too serious to be taken seriously. If you do take life seriously, you just might not be able to live it.

Live Life to the Fullest

Common Behavior Traits of Highly Successful people

The points discussed in this article have been harped o­n over the years in countless motivational seminars across the United States. The Dale Carnegies and Zig Ziglars have been pounding these same themes for so long that most people accept them as conventional wisdom. Yet, I am baffled why so many people in quest of that holy grail--a happy, successful life--still stubbornly disregard these simple truths.

I o­nce heard someone remark that the o­nly difference between success and failure is the net worth of o­ne's parents, the implication being that wealth can ensure success. I disagree. o­n the contrary, wealth which underwrites projects guided by people with limited skills, lack of vision, and questionable maturity and intelligence almost always leads to failure. In fact, wealth uncoupled from the commonly accepted virtues of integrity, intelligence, maturity, vision, tact, ability, to name a few,often results in serial failure, failure over and over again.

A quick inventory of my mental rolodex leads me to believe that successful people achieve their goals in different ways, while the failures all trod virtually the same path. This is not to say that successful people have nothing in common. Of course, they do--hard work, perseverance, a positive attitude, these are all common factors in successful behavior. But the successful people in my life have all arrived at the promised land via different routes, while the failures have all travelled the same road. This implies that successful behavior can be distilled by filtering and identifying the common pitfalls of the unsuccessful.

What is Success?

The American Heritage Dictionary defines success as "...the achievement of something attempted or...the gaining of fame or prosperity." Simply put, it is happiness or satisfaction derived from a goal accomplished or a purpose realized. It can be of a personal nature, such as losing weight or giving up smoking, or it can be of a professional nature, as in winning an election or securing a job promotion. It can be small, let's say, finishing a crossword puzzle or big, for instance, winning a world championship, something as palpable as becoming a millionaire or as intangible as waking up happy every morning. It is quite simply, defining a mission or having an objective, then achieving it.


Learn From Your Mistakes

The first common thread in the fabric of failure is that failures almost never learn from their mistakes. They repeat them again and again. Benjamin Franklin said that "experience is a dear school, but fools will learn in no other." You don't have to be a fool to learn from experience. Everyone stumbles at some time. The failures, however, keep repeating the behavior that led to their failure, the successes make changes and modifications which minimize the chances for future failure. They try to fix the broken car before continuing their journey, while the failure blithely drives o­n to the next accident. A commonly heard expression is, "he always lands o­n his feet," implying luck or a charmed existence. Actually, people who always land o­n their feet are those who learn from mistakes, make positive changes, and succeed in avoiding subsequent calamities.


Be Willing to Take Advice

A second common trait in failures, related to the first, is that failures refuse to take advice. This is not to say that advice is always good to follow--many people who invest o­n a tip lose money. However, when circumstances warrant, being able to solicit counsel and listen to what others have to say is important. Many people don't feel secure enough to do this, others are just obstinate, but there are times in everyone's life when their viewpoint is clouded and they need an outside opinion. A willingness to listen to others, and being humble enough to take advice, is important for success.


Don't Delay

Procrastination is a common attribute of failures. Their common cry is, "I could have done that!" or "I o­nce thought of that." Deliberation is fine, but in chronic delay are the seeds of failure. First, a task becomes more difficult to undertake with each successive postponement. Second, in this world, real opportunity often has a shelf life, as in "window of opportunity." Excessive delay increases the liklihood that the window will snap shut before you have a chance to leap through it. The end result of chronic delay is that things don't get done, and things not getting done are the building blocks of failure.


Finish What You Start

Related to the advice o­n delay is the admonition to finish what you start. Admittedly, when you embark o­n a course which is obviously ill-conceived, it is best to disengage; that is, cut your losses. Failures, however, have a nagging habit of starting projects, often with grandiose fanfare, o­nly to lose enthusiasm and give up before the project is completed. These are the quitters, people who have a low threshold of discomfort and will disengage whenever they encounter setbacks. In short, they don't have perseverance, they can't stick to a task which offers any unexpected difficulties. Successful people, o­n the other hand, will see tasks through to completion, even through difficult times. They are not short-termers, they keep their eyes o­n the goal even though they have to suffer some temporary pain to get to it. These are the people who exhibit professional behavior, who perform what has to be done even though they don't always enjoy it. The failures are left in the familiar position--tasks not completed, desired result unattainable, goals unrealized.


Stop Running Around in Circles

One common trait of failures is that they are almost always inefficient. Many of these people are subconsciously aware of their shortcomings, don't want to be perceived as indolent and, as a result, are always in motion. But, the motion is circular, not linear--they often expend tremendous energy, but end up back at the starting point. The failure impulsively moves a computer from his home to his office, o­nly to change his mind the following week and move the computer back home. Result: a waste of two hours labor, two gallons of gas, and a buck's worth of shoe leather and tire rubber, without a corresponding change in situation. The success will be more prudent--decide the computer is best utilized at the office, hire a delivery service at $10/hour, because his time is worth $20/hour, and have the computer swiftly sent to the office. Result: a savings of $10 in labor costs, and a computer situated in an office where it can best be put to use. Digging ditches and filling them up can be good exercise but, in the end, it is a zero-sum game.


Don't Be a Victim

In our society, victimization is often used as a means to gain empowerment. This, unfortunately, has several toxic side effects, o­ne of which is the right of the victim to damages in order to redress a grievance. From a legal point of view this makes sense; from a political point of view, however, this concept is often paired with class status to create a category of victims. These victims, as a group, are awarded o­ngoing damages which often, rather than righting a wrong, creates a dependency. This dependency often discourages personal responsibility and pro-active behavior, resulting in personal stagnation. Victimization today carries so much political legitimacy that people, instead of marshalling energy to move from victimized status to empowered status, often spend all their emotional capital trying to convince others they are victims and, hence, a politically legitimate, privileged class. Chronic whining wastes productive time and underscores o­ne's impotence. It's a fairly common trait among failures--the focus o­n assigning blame rather than rectifying the situation.


Beware of the Company You Keep

Failures always seem to attract failures; likewise, successful people tend to migrate towards other successful people. A child's initial role models are her parents. But, as we move into adulthood, we still seek out peers who reflect our shared values. Failures, often because of damaged self confidence, are intimidated by the conventionally successful and, as a result, shun them. They often seek out, or are thrown together with, people who, like them, have developed dysfunctional habits which will prevent them from realizing a more satisfying, successful life. Jack Nicklaus, the famous golfer, said that he learned early in his career to surround himself with well-adjusted, sound-thinking people. He claims to have learned as much about successful living from this peer group as he did from his achievements o­n the golf course. Most people are motivated not to learn from others, but to be accepted by others. So, failures often aren't exposed to role models who can spur positive change.


Feel With Your Heart, Think With Your Head, Don't Deny Reality

Failures tend to stress impulsive, often passionate decisions over rational o­nes. Passion is an essential requisite to the full enjoyment of life--most pursuits in life often benefit from a passionate commitment. However, when a person relies solely o­n emotion, not reason, to arrive at a major decision, the results are often regrettable. A balance can be struck by asking a few key questions. Perhaps the most important question is: What will the consequences of this decision be, especially if there is a substantial downside potential? There is always an upside and downside, but many people refuse to confront the negative possibilities--I am inundated with business propositions which quantify latent profits, but don't address the possible losses I might incur. If you want a further illustration, simply try to to engage a realtor in a discussion about depreciating real estate and see how far you get. This "it can o­nly go up" thinking represents a denial of reality, which is the corollary to over-emotional decision making. In order to make the choice based o­n emotion, you must suspend reason, which is most often based o­n reality. Failures act in the heat of the moment and later often suffer regret and guilt, while the successful tend to balance desire with rational deliberation. Their decisions often lead to better outcomes and when they don't, there is no lament or second guessing.



The points I've been discussing here have been harped o­n over the years in countless motivational seminars across the United States. The Dale Carnegies and Zig Ziglars have been pounding these same themes for so long that most people accept them as conventional wisdom. Yet, I am baffled why so many people in quest of that holy grail--a happy, successful life--still stubbornly disregard these simple truths.

What Defines Success?

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about success, and how it means different things to different people. When I first graduated college, I thought success was setting and then achieving a goal to reach a certain level. But for someone who is naturally ambitious, this doesn’t really work. Because once you reach that level, you want to go higher. Eventually, you will rise as high as it’s reasonable to expect, and then what? Do you feel like a failure because you aren’t at the tippy, tippy top? Making success about being the best in your field is bound to lead to disappointment, because even if you’re the president of your country, there will be another world leader who is more accomplished and more popular with the people.

Another definition says that you are successful if lots of other people think and/or tell you that you are. Except how do you decide whose opinion counts, and whose doesn’t? Are the people in your life really equipped to make an objective judgment about such things? Plus, it’s always dangerous to base your self-esteem on what other people think. Then there’s the people who say that you’re successful if you’ve gotten rich doing what you do. This makes a degree of sense, although if your windfall was mostly luck or being in the right place at the right time, of if your wealthy in laws loaned you the money to get a leg up, how successful are you really?

For me, I think success is enjoying your work enough so that you’re energized at the start of each business day. It’s having the respect and admiration of your colleagues. It’s earning enough so that you’re in a position to pursue the lifestyle you want, with enough time to spend with the people who are most important to you. It’s making a contribution to society so that you know in your heart that the world is a better place with you in it.

What do you think?

Tips for Setting Goals

The Six P’s of Goal Setting
Research tells us that when we write a goal down we are more likely to achieve it. Written goals can be reviewed regularly, and have more power. Like a contract with yourself, they are harder to neglect or forget. Also when you write your goals in a particular fashion you are able to stimulate your subconscious to be continuously alert to situations that will further your goal. In order for your written goals to have the greatest impact, write them by incorporating the special power of these six P’s of goal setting:

POSITIVE
Goals must be stated in positive rather than negative terms. ("I am a neat and organized person," rather than "I am no longer unorganized.")

PRESENT TENSE
Goals must be written as though they are happening now or have already happened. The subconscious mind only operates in the now. If you create goals in the future tense, your subconscious will never get there.

PERSONAL
Goals must be about you, and under your control, not about someone else.

PRECISE
Goals must be clear and describe exactly what you want to do.

POSSIBLE
Goals must be realistic and within the realm of possibility to achieve

POWERFUL
Use words that convey action and emotion.

Write these goals and place them where you will see them at least twice a day. If possible, read them aloud and visualize what you are saying.

What You See Is What You Get
Visualizations are the pictures of achievement we have of ourselves. Those pictures greatly affect the outcomes we produce. If we see ourselves succeeding and attaining our goals, we very likely will. If, on the other hand, we have no image of success or create an image of failure, we very likely will fail.

Visualizing is something everyone does, every day. When you daydream, think about someone you know, or remember a place you visited in the past, you are visualizing. And you can make the technique of visualization work for you. You can use it to help achieve your goals by seeing yourself achieving your goals.

Enjoy the feeling of success, and often think these positive thoughts. In giving you these guidelines, I am hoping for your success too!

Setting Goals

Why is setting goals important? Because goals can help you do, be, and experience everything you want in life. Instead of just letting life happen to you, goals allow you to make your life happen.

Successful and happy women have a vision of how their life should be and they set lots of goals (both short-term and long range) to help them reach their vision. By setting goals you are taking control of your life. It’s like having a map to show you where you want to go. Think of it this way. There are two drivers. One has a destination in mind (her goal) which is laid out for her on a map. She can drive straight there without any wasted time or wrong turns. The other driver has no goal or destination or map. She starts off at the same time from the same place as the first driver , but she drives aimlessly around, never getting anywhere, just using up gas and oil. Which driver do you want to be?

Winners in life set goals and follow through on them. Winners decide what they want in life and then get there by making plans and setting goals. Unsuccessful people just let life happen by accident. Goals aren’t difficult to set - and they aren’t difficult to reach. It’s up to you to find out what your goals, ideals and visions really are. You are the one who must decide what to pursue and in what direction to aim you life.

Success is about Choosing What You Want in Life!

You can choose success. Do you believe this? If you do not then you have chosen (yes chosen) a different route and success will not be a prominent feature! Success is about choosing what you want in life and taking the necessary steps to achieve that goal. Success is not stopping until you get there!

• Choose to remove whatever is holding you back.
• Choose to live your success.
• Choose to believe in your success.

You can choose success. Or you can choose to stay safe and do what you do now. Guess what - you will still be doing the same in ten years time. The question is - do you want to?

The Reasons I Stay in a Job I Dislike

Are you unhappy in your job? Is someone around you always complaining about the company or the job? Here are some reasons I stay at my job I do not like.

My Job takes all my time and energy, I think it is easier for me to continue doing what I have been doing than to take action and make a change, also I'm not sure if I'm capable of doing any job other than the one I have.

My current job pays the bills, and I feel like my boss is depending on me. I've met a lot of great people from my job,I'm so worry that if I changed my job,then I'm gonna lose them.

Well I believe every one of us has a choice. One can choose to remain unhappy or to take action.
I stay for the job I dislike,what about you?

Caring about what others think

I find myself always worrying about how I'm being perceived by others.Most family members feel that I'm distant which I will admit I am.I also grew up around alot of violence and till this day I am still fearful of my father.I personally do not want to have a relationship with him and I know that sounds terrible but thats how I feel.Relatives think I'm wrong for not calling them but I've notice I have more peace when Iam not around them,but I also feel guilt which makes it hard to fully enjoy my life without them so it seems as though theres no way around all of this, because my relatives are in my head daily so its like I'm still dealing with them when they aren't even there.

10 Most Important Things that I want in Life

1.Happiness.

2.Friends.

3.Love.

4.Family.

5.A wonderful loving husband/soul mate, with whom we are truly one unit.

6.Prosperity/Financial security.

7.Good Music and Movies to Enjoy.

8.Good Glass of Wine/Coffee everyday.

9.Make it to my 80th birthday in good health.

10.To meet new friends around the world.

It took me around 30 Mins ,but I've never realized that I want Happiness more than anything in the world.

Goal Setting Powerful Written Goals In 7 Easy Steps!

1. Make sure the goal you are working for is something you really want, not just something that sounds good.

I remember when I started taking baseball umpiring more seriously. I began to set my sites on the NCAA Division 1 level. Why? I knew there was no way I could get onto the road to the major leagues, so the next best thing was the highest college level. Pretty cool, right. Wrong.

Sure, when I was talking to people about my umpiring goals it sounded pretty good, and many people were quite impressed. Fortunately I began to see through my own charade.

I have been involved in youth sports for a long time. I've coached, I've been the President of leagues, I've been a treasurer and I'm currently an Assistant State Commissioner for Cal Ripken Baseball. Youth sports is where I belong, it is where my heart belongs, not on some college diamond where the only thing at stake is a high draft spot.

When setting goals it is very important to remember that your goals must be consistent with your values.

2. A goal can not contradict any of your other goals.

For example, you can't buy a $750,000 house if your income goal is only $50,000 per year. This is called non-integrated thinking and will sabotage all of the hard work you put into your goals. Non-integrated thinking can also hamper your everyday thoughts as well. We should continually strive to eliminate contradictory ideas from our thinking.

3. Develop goals in the 6 areas of life:

Family and Home Financial and Career
Spiritual and Ethical Physical and Health
Social and Cultural Mental and Educational

Setting goals in each area of life will ensure a more balanced life as you begin to examine and change the fundamentals of everyday living. Setting goals in each area of life also helps in eliminating the non-integrated thinking we talked about in the 2nd step.

4. Write your goal in the positive instead of the negative.

Work for what you want, not for what you want to leave behind. Part of the reason why we write down and examine our goals is to create a set of instructions for our subconscious mind to carry out. Your subconscious mind is a very efficient tool, it can not determine right from wrong and it does not judge. It's only function is to carry out its instructions. The more positive instructions you give it, the more positive results you will get.

Thinking positively in everyday life will also help in your growth as a human being. Don't limit it to goal setting.

5. Write your goal out in complete detail.

Instead of writing "A new home," write "A 4,000 square foot contemporary with 4 bedrooms and 3 baths and a view of the mountain on 20 acres of land.

Once again we are giving the subconscious mind a detailed set of instructions to work on. The more information you give it, the more clear the final outcome becomes. The more precise the outcome, the more efficient the subconscious mind can become.

Can you close your eyes and visualize the home I described above? Walk around the house. Stand on the porch off the master bedroom and see the fog lifting off the mountain. Look down at the garden full of tomatoes, green beans and cucumbers. And off to the right is the other garden full of a mums, carnations and roses. Can you see it? So can your subconscious mind.

6. By all means, make sure your goal is high enough.

Shoot for the moon, if you miss you'll still be in the stars. Earlier I talked about my umpiring goals and how making it to the top level of college umpiring did not mix with my values. Some of you might be saying that I'm not setting my goals high enough. Not so. I still have very high goals for my umpiring career at the youth level. My ultimate goal is to be chosen to umpire a Babe Ruth World Series and to do so as a crew chief. If I never make it, everything I do to reach that goal will make me a better umpire and a better person. If I make it, but don't go as a crew chief, then I am still among the top youth umpires in the nation. Shoot for the moon!

7. This is the most important, write down your goals.

Writing down your goals creates the roadmap to your success. Although just the act of writing them down can set the process in motion, it is also extremely important to review your goals frequently. Remember, the more focused you are on your goals the more likely you are to accomplish them.

Sometimes we realize we have to revise a goal as circumstances and other goals change, much like I did with my umpiring. If you need to change a goal do not consider it a failure, consider it a victory as you had the insight to realize something was different.

So your goals are written down.

Now what?

First of all, unless someone is critical to helping you achieve your goal(s), do not freely share your goals with others. The negative attitude from friends, family and neighbors can drag you down quickly. It's very important that your self-talk (the thoughts in your head) are positive.

Reviewing your goals daily is a crucial part of your success and must become part of your routine. Each morning when you wake up read your list of goals that are written in the positive. Visualize the completed goal, see the new home, smell the leather seats in your new car, feel the cold hard cash in your hands. Then each night, right before you go to bed, repeat the process. This process will start both your subconscious and conscious mind on working towards the goal. This will also begin to replace any of the negative self-talk you may have and replace it with positive self-talk.

Every time you make a decision during the day, ask yourself this question, "Does it take me closer to, or further from my goal." If the answer is "closer to," then you've made the right decision. If the answer is "further from," well, you know what to do.

If you follow this process everyday you will be on your way to achieving unlimited success in every aspect of your life.