Are You Living the Life You Want?

Tired of not getting what you want in one or more major areas in your life? Are you living a life that is not exactly as you planned? Have you given up on what you used to want?

You are entitled to a life that works! One full of passionate and satisfying experiences.

When is the last time someone asked you what you wanted? Maybe the waiter in a restaurant? Or the butcher at the supermarket? Who looks after your needs as you take care of your kids, your husband, your parents, your house, your boss, your laundry. . .?

Is anyone putting you first in their life? Probably not. Maybe not even you. This may be shocking, but you need to put yourself first. Yes, first. Even before the kids. Certainly before your husband. You need to take care of yourself and "fill your gas tank," or no one else will. If you are running on empty, you are not much help to others. So, that means taking time out to breath, to think, to relax, to plan. . . and to dream.

If you are ready to dream, let "up the ante," so to speak, to the next level. What do you really want? And, I don mean for dinner tonight. Nor, do I mean which color blouse to purchase or what movie to see on Friday night. I mean, "WHAT DO YOU WANT?!!" in life.

What I know about women, is that often there is no time or space left in life to consider the answer to this question. Never mind being able to spend quality time really pondering this question or planning how to pursue the revelations you come up with!

So, how do you envision significant, satisfying changes in your life and then make them happen? Follow me! Start by, just for a moment, freeing yourself from the attachments of family, relationship, responsibilities, pressures, and worry. . . let them go from your mind.

Find a relaxing place to sit. Close your eyes. Take a deep breath or two. Remember, you put your worries and responsibilities aside. Let the "realities" of life go. Forget about the places you need to be. Forget the things you need to do, the schedules, and the commitments. I challenge you to also put aside the restrictions to having what you want. I know there are many of them. Just let them go! Let yourself float away . . .from this life that is currently yours.

In your mind, float up above your body, out of the building you are in, and to a peaceful location. It might be nearby - somewhere you like to spend time. From this place, look down at your life. What would you have in your life if you could have anything? What do you love in your life? What would you keep no matter what? What don you love? What would you change? What would you let go of?

What would your house be like? How would you decorate it? Where would it be located? What else would you change about your house to feel nurtured, happy, and safe there? Take a moment to picture it. See the details. Let out the stops!

Now, look at your family. How would family life be? What does the time with your kids look like? What does the time away from your kids look like? How do you want your relationships with all family members to be? Sit for a moment with the visions.

What would your job look like? Do you have one? Are you a full-time mom? Do you work at home? Would you change careers? Spend a few minutes thinking about the details for your dream job. Go with them, no matter how crazy or unrealistic they might seem. If you could have a career doing what would make you happier than anything else, what would it be?

(Hint: What do you love to do that you feel you must do. What is it you do easily that others do not? Does the thought of being able to make a living from it bring up fears? GREAT! This is it! You have found your passion.

What about your marriage, relationship, or the relationship you wish you had? What would this look like? What would your significant other be like? How would he treat you? Feel how you want to feel with this person. Envision what you would do together and what you would share. Feel the passion and closeness between you.

Finally, let yourself think about any other important aspects of your life, such as your friendships, community service, travel, recreation, or your spiritual beliefs. How would these components be if they were as you desired? Leave your skeptic on the sidelines! (You can have her back in a few minutes!) Let yourself sneak a glance at your desires, dreams, passions, and secret fantasies. Look at the details. . . notice what you see. Any surprises? Take a deep breath and maybe congratulate yourself for being willing to look into this place.

If you came up with a satisfying vision, I invite you to write it down. You might even start an "I WANT" journal. In it, you can list all the details that came to mind. Then, add to it over time. I suggest you also write about the fears, judgements, and reactions you experienced. For example, "This is too selfish" or "I can have this, so why bother thinking about it!" are typical reactions. Just notice your thoughts and jot them down. Writing the objections clears the space to let the desires come to the surface so you can also write them down!

So, this is the first step in getting what you want - letting yourself see it. Find a way to make this practice part of your daily routine. Watch the changes start to happen!