Are You Living the Life You Want?

Tired of not getting what you want in one or more major areas in your life? Are you living a life that is not exactly as you planned? Have you given up on what you used to want?

You are entitled to a life that works! One full of passionate and satisfying experiences.

When is the last time someone asked you what you wanted? Maybe the waiter in a restaurant? Or the butcher at the supermarket? Who looks after your needs as you take care of your kids, your husband, your parents, your house, your boss, your laundry. . .?

Is anyone putting you first in their life? Probably not. Maybe not even you. This may be shocking, but you need to put yourself first. Yes, first. Even before the kids. Certainly before your husband. You need to take care of yourself and "fill your gas tank," or no one else will. If you are running on empty, you are not much help to others. So, that means taking time out to breath, to think, to relax, to plan. . . and to dream.

If you are ready to dream, let "up the ante," so to speak, to the next level. What do you really want? And, I don mean for dinner tonight. Nor, do I mean which color blouse to purchase or what movie to see on Friday night. I mean, "WHAT DO YOU WANT?!!" in life.

What I know about women, is that often there is no time or space left in life to consider the answer to this question. Never mind being able to spend quality time really pondering this question or planning how to pursue the revelations you come up with!

So, how do you envision significant, satisfying changes in your life and then make them happen? Follow me! Start by, just for a moment, freeing yourself from the attachments of family, relationship, responsibilities, pressures, and worry. . . let them go from your mind.

Find a relaxing place to sit. Close your eyes. Take a deep breath or two. Remember, you put your worries and responsibilities aside. Let the "realities" of life go. Forget about the places you need to be. Forget the things you need to do, the schedules, and the commitments. I challenge you to also put aside the restrictions to having what you want. I know there are many of them. Just let them go! Let yourself float away . . .from this life that is currently yours.

In your mind, float up above your body, out of the building you are in, and to a peaceful location. It might be nearby - somewhere you like to spend time. From this place, look down at your life. What would you have in your life if you could have anything? What do you love in your life? What would you keep no matter what? What don you love? What would you change? What would you let go of?

What would your house be like? How would you decorate it? Where would it be located? What else would you change about your house to feel nurtured, happy, and safe there? Take a moment to picture it. See the details. Let out the stops!

Now, look at your family. How would family life be? What does the time with your kids look like? What does the time away from your kids look like? How do you want your relationships with all family members to be? Sit for a moment with the visions.

What would your job look like? Do you have one? Are you a full-time mom? Do you work at home? Would you change careers? Spend a few minutes thinking about the details for your dream job. Go with them, no matter how crazy or unrealistic they might seem. If you could have a career doing what would make you happier than anything else, what would it be?

(Hint: What do you love to do that you feel you must do. What is it you do easily that others do not? Does the thought of being able to make a living from it bring up fears? GREAT! This is it! You have found your passion.

What about your marriage, relationship, or the relationship you wish you had? What would this look like? What would your significant other be like? How would he treat you? Feel how you want to feel with this person. Envision what you would do together and what you would share. Feel the passion and closeness between you.

Finally, let yourself think about any other important aspects of your life, such as your friendships, community service, travel, recreation, or your spiritual beliefs. How would these components be if they were as you desired? Leave your skeptic on the sidelines! (You can have her back in a few minutes!) Let yourself sneak a glance at your desires, dreams, passions, and secret fantasies. Look at the details. . . notice what you see. Any surprises? Take a deep breath and maybe congratulate yourself for being willing to look into this place.

If you came up with a satisfying vision, I invite you to write it down. You might even start an "I WANT" journal. In it, you can list all the details that came to mind. Then, add to it over time. I suggest you also write about the fears, judgements, and reactions you experienced. For example, "This is too selfish" or "I can have this, so why bother thinking about it!" are typical reactions. Just notice your thoughts and jot them down. Writing the objections clears the space to let the desires come to the surface so you can also write them down!

So, this is the first step in getting what you want - letting yourself see it. Find a way to make this practice part of your daily routine. Watch the changes start to happen!

12 Techniques to Help You Live a Happy and Fulfilled Life

1. Keep Life Simple:Far too many of us are always over analyzing and looking for the most complicated way of doing things in life. Sometimes life was meant to be simple – a walk through the park, a simple yes or no answer, or a quiet evening with the family. Don’t try and clutter your life with unnecessary decisions by making everything complicated and complex. Keep it simple!
2. Practice Being Satisfied:How many times have you heard someone say, “If only I had a few more dollars I’d…” or “If I just had another day off I could….”? Many people don’t know how to be satisfied with what life gives them. They are so busy wanting more that they squander what life has already given them.
3. Beware Of Indecision:Nobody said life is easy, and sometimes you have to make the tough choices. Never put off a decision that you can make today. You may miss some of the best and most exciting opportunities in the world because you were indecisive. Successful people didn’t get where they were at by prolonging or going back and forth on decisions!
4. Practice Cheerfulness:You’ve heard it before, and you’ll hear it here again – it only takes a few muscles to smile! You would be surprised at how well being cheerful to others can spread like wildfire. We live in a society where it seems that glumness is the rule of order. A simple smile or kind word can spread through our culture like wildfire – not only will you feel better, but those who interact with you will feel better!
5. Learn to Like People: You don’t have to love everyone you encounter, so learn to like people – especially those who are different than yourself. Often you won’t agree with everything they do, or maybe all of their beliefs, but by learning to get along with them you will open your mind up to change – a critical trait that is absolutely necessary in today’s world.
6. Live and Let Live:Is it really your concern what the guy across the street wants to do with his life or who he wants to share his life with? Learn to live your life to the fullest and let others live their life to the fullest. None of us is above anyone else, and none of us should think we should be allowed to dictate how another person should live their life.
7. Adversity Teaches:Adversity can be one of the most powerful teachers we will ever have in our lives. You will learn so much about life by overcoming adversity and learning how to face it head on. Adversity often comes dressed in many different outfits, but you will change your life by learning how to deal with it and prosper from it.
8. Don't Take Yourself So Seriously:Here is a secret: it’s ok to be a little goofy now and then! You only get one shot at this life, so make the most of it. Have some fun and show your children and those around you that you know how to have fun. You aren’t the greatest gift to mankind this world has ever had – so don’t act like it! You may find you add years to your life, not to mention a ton of laughter!
9. Have A Sense Of Humor:Laugh, joke, and now and then pick up a cream pie and throw it! Laughter has been shown to help people live longer, reduce their blood pressure, and help them relate to people from around the world.
10. Practice Objectivity:Be objective in your decision-making and risk-taking. Know the facts and avoid letting racial, social, or any other type of bias influence your decisions. Great leaders perform their best when they act based on facts, not on emotion or prejudices. Become a great leader in your life.
11. Tolerate Your Own Mistakes:You will make mistakes – in fact, you will make so many mistakes you will never be able to list them all. Learn that mistakes happen and the best thing you can do is to learn from them. Don’t spend your entire life dwelling on a mistake you made years ago – learn from it and move on. The world isn’t going to wait while you live in the past.
12. Forgive Yourself:Stop beating yourself up over things that happened in the past - things you did or didn’t do, and mistakes you may have made with others.
    
    Forgiving yourself is a skill so few of us have the ability to accomplish. It's such a shame that we spent a lifetime living in the past and never make it to our full potential in the future. Forgive yourself – and just as importantly, forgive others.

It may seem like a rather long list, but I encourage you to read it and then refer back to it every now and then. You’ll see each one ties into the others in some fashion and that these simple steps really do help you live a more meaningful, happy and fulfilled life.

Life happens. Be a part of it.

Setting Goals

Why is setting goals important? Because goals can help you do, be, and experience everything you want in life. Instead of just letting life happen to you, goals allow you to make your life happen.

Successful and happy women have a vision of how their life should be and they set lots of goals (both short-term and long range) to help them reach their vision. By setting goals you are taking control of your life. It’s like having a map to show you where you want to go. Think of it this way. There are two drivers. One has a destination in mind (her goal) which is laid out for her on a map. She can drive straight there without any wasted time or wrong turns. The other driver has no goal or destination or map. She starts off at the same time from the same place as the first driver , but she drives aimlessly around, never getting anywhere, just using up gas and oil. Which driver do you want to be?

Winners in life set goals and follow through on them. Winners decide what they want in life and then get there by making plans and setting goals. Unsuccessful people just let life happen by accident. Goals aren’t difficult to set - and they aren’t difficult to reach. It’s up to you to find out what your goals, ideals and visions really are. You are the one who must decide what to pursue and in what direction to aim you life.

Goal Setting Powerful Written Goals In 7 Easy Steps!

1. Make sure the goal you are working for is something you really want, not just something that sounds good.

I remember when I started taking baseball umpiring more seriously. I began to set my sites on the NCAA Division 1 level. Why? I knew there was no way I could get onto the road to the major leagues, so the next best thing was the highest college level. Pretty cool, right. Wrong.

Sure, when I was talking to people about my umpiring goals it sounded pretty good, and many people were quite impressed. Fortunately I began to see through my own charade.

I have been involved in youth sports for a long time. I've coached, I've been the President of leagues, I've been a treasurer and I'm currently an Assistant State Commissioner for Cal Ripken Baseball. Youth sports is where I belong, it is where my heart belongs, not on some college diamond where the only thing at stake is a high draft spot.

When setting goals it is very important to remember that your goals must be consistent with your values.

2. A goal can not contradict any of your other goals.

For example, you can't buy a $750,000 house if your income goal is only $50,000 per year. This is called non-integrated thinking and will sabotage all of the hard work you put into your goals. Non-integrated thinking can also hamper your everyday thoughts as well. We should continually strive to eliminate contradictory ideas from our thinking.

3. Develop goals in the 6 areas of life:

Family and Home Financial and Career
Spiritual and Ethical Physical and Health
Social and Cultural Mental and Educational

Setting goals in each area of life will ensure a more balanced life as you begin to examine and change the fundamentals of everyday living. Setting goals in each area of life also helps in eliminating the non-integrated thinking we talked about in the 2nd step.

4. Write your goal in the positive instead of the negative.

Work for what you want, not for what you want to leave behind. Part of the reason why we write down and examine our goals is to create a set of instructions for our subconscious mind to carry out. Your subconscious mind is a very efficient tool, it can not determine right from wrong and it does not judge. It's only function is to carry out its instructions. The more positive instructions you give it, the more positive results you will get.

Thinking positively in everyday life will also help in your growth as a human being. Don't limit it to goal setting.

5. Write your goal out in complete detail.

Instead of writing "A new home," write "A 4,000 square foot contemporary with 4 bedrooms and 3 baths and a view of the mountain on 20 acres of land.

Once again we are giving the subconscious mind a detailed set of instructions to work on. The more information you give it, the more clear the final outcome becomes. The more precise the outcome, the more efficient the subconscious mind can become.

Can you close your eyes and visualize the home I described above? Walk around the house. Stand on the porch off the master bedroom and see the fog lifting off the mountain. Look down at the garden full of tomatoes, green beans and cucumbers. And off to the right is the other garden full of a mums, carnations and roses. Can you see it? So can your subconscious mind.

6. By all means, make sure your goal is high enough.

Shoot for the moon, if you miss you'll still be in the stars. Earlier I talked about my umpiring goals and how making it to the top level of college umpiring did not mix with my values. Some of you might be saying that I'm not setting my goals high enough. Not so. I still have very high goals for my umpiring career at the youth level. My ultimate goal is to be chosen to umpire a Babe Ruth World Series and to do so as a crew chief. If I never make it, everything I do to reach that goal will make me a better umpire and a better person. If I make it, but don't go as a crew chief, then I am still among the top youth umpires in the nation. Shoot for the moon!

7. This is the most important, write down your goals.

Writing down your goals creates the roadmap to your success. Although just the act of writing them down can set the process in motion, it is also extremely important to review your goals frequently. Remember, the more focused you are on your goals the more likely you are to accomplish them.

Sometimes we realize we have to revise a goal as circumstances and other goals change, much like I did with my umpiring. If you need to change a goal do not consider it a failure, consider it a victory as you had the insight to realize something was different.

So your goals are written down.

Now what?

First of all, unless someone is critical to helping you achieve your goal(s), do not freely share your goals with others. The negative attitude from friends, family and neighbors can drag you down quickly. It's very important that your self-talk (the thoughts in your head) are positive.

Reviewing your goals daily is a crucial part of your success and must become part of your routine. Each morning when you wake up read your list of goals that are written in the positive. Visualize the completed goal, see the new home, smell the leather seats in your new car, feel the cold hard cash in your hands. Then each night, right before you go to bed, repeat the process. This process will start both your subconscious and conscious mind on working towards the goal. This will also begin to replace any of the negative self-talk you may have and replace it with positive self-talk.

Every time you make a decision during the day, ask yourself this question, "Does it take me closer to, or further from my goal." If the answer is "closer to," then you've made the right decision. If the answer is "further from," well, you know what to do.

If you follow this process everyday you will be on your way to achieving unlimited success in every aspect of your life.